Two interesting things that Baltimore people say.

1) Hon. Short for "honey" I think. Kirsten and I went to a 7-11 to get a slurpy last weekend and the [older] cashier managed to use it like 5 times over the course of two sentences. I just don't understand why they spell it "hon" instead of "hun". That's the way I'd do it.

2) The correct way to say "Baltimore" is Bah-more. It's almost like you make a sheep sound and then put a more on the end. Bahmore. So I actually live in Bahmore in Bahmore City county. (Yeah, that's another fucked up thing.)

See you when you come to visit Bahmore, hon.



So, I've just recently experienced a wholly new understanding of the definition for the following word:

sucks (adj.) = present participle of the verb to suck, also correctly describes the feeling associated with the sudden realization that the previous week's efforts were for naught

This re-definition has been brought to you by the following sequence of events:
[EDITED for length: see more after the jump]

Continue reading Re-Defined...


Useful phrases, issue # "we done lost count"

boats to build = having many other things to do; preoccupied with tasks demaning completion; see lyrics to song listed above for examples of usage

ain't got sense enough to poor piss out of a boot = implied ending: "before inserting his or her foot"; definition is self-explanatory

useless as teats on a boar hog = boy pigs are called "boars"; piglets cannot suckle at their teats, hence, useless

got the red-ass = feeling lazy,; unmotivated

God love 'em = implied understanding: "'cause nobody else will"; used to express the complex mixture of sympathy and exasperation one experiences when dealing with particular people less politely deemed "difficult"

The above additions to the blog lexicon have been brought to you by my preference for Jimmy Buffett tunes, my dad's penchant for colorful colloquial phrases, and the low blood sugar addlemindedness experienced just before dinner.


Happy Maundy Thursday!

Honestly, is there a weirder name for a day? I think it's based on mandatum ('command' in Latin), referring to Christ's command to his disciples to love one another, given at the Last supper. Okay, that makes sense, and the whole King-washes-the-feet-of-the-poor thing is kinda cool, but still it's a weird stretch with the name.

Oh, and don't forget the whole Last Supper thing was them celebrating Passover. so being pissed off at the Jews really doesn't make sense (for that anyway).


Vocab: Cat-Sweatshirt People

This is plagiarism of another blog.. But if I cite it, it's not plagiarism.

Cat-Sweatshirt People (n) homey midwesterners responsible for supporting a number of trends including Thomas Kincaid lighthouse paintings, the Chicken Soup books, and the career of Dr. Phil. Besides the namesake sweatshirts, they can also be recognized by kitchens decorated with lots of stenciled hearts and geese and by a mass forwards of emails about angels.



Okay, I reckon it's two new words for today:

verbogenesis (n.) = the process of creating new words, whether they be drawn from the literary ether, formed by some gestalt of other words and various -fixes smashed together, or phonetical transcriptions of random gibberish

bandwagoneering (n.) = gerund form of the verb to bandwagon, the process by which one attaches ones own career, research, fame, fortune, etc., to the prospects and promise of others who are already pioneering.