soapbox

We have previously addressed this item, when one comes across hotness in either an unexpected, unanticipated or unconventional situation, or instead when traditional hotness is encountered in an atypical wrapping.
It is in this second category that I submit the item below:

Everybody expects cheerleaders to be hot, or rather is at least not surprised when cheerleaders turn out to be hot (but don’t forget the importance of community service) – and disappointed when that hotness is not lived up to. But what is extra-, or should we say, sneaky-hot, is when you put a hot cheerleader in 1960’s throwback outfits. They didn’t quite make up for the awfulness of the Broncos uniforms – see below – but it was a good effort.

So, hypothetical situation. You’re shopping and you find a beautiful suit. The jacket literally fits like a glove, like it was made for you. The fabric is a perfect navy with overlaid with a nice windowpane pattern. It’s designer, not a Tom Ford level designer, but Hickey Freeman. Originally it was up around $2K, but I got it for around a quarter of that. Oh, wait, this is hypothetical.

The only problem is that the pants are pleated. It doesn’t show when you have the jacket buttoned, but are pleats a problem?

Obviously, I’m trying to avoid my real work.

An imbalanced gender ratio is not a surprise to any physics conference veteran, and I’d imagine that the female-depletion phenomenon is common across the non-biology sciences. Or maybe that’s generalizing too much?

Anyway, at this week’s conference I was really surprised by the demographics; I’d guess not more than 15-20% female, and 50+% were 50+ years old… which meant that between session breaks the lines stretched out the restroom door.

Perhaps unrelatedly, I’m wondering if the inter-session snacks were sponsored by Medicare, since I’ve never seen a more calorie- and saturated fat-intensive collection of cookies, brownies, ice cream bars, cheesecake, etc at any conference. Meanwhile, the CS conference in the other side of the complex got to have fresh fruit and muffins: maybe not an upgrade in the eyes of some, but some variety would be nice. I almost ate something that had 87% of the daily saturated fat requirement, yikes.

Finally, I really wish my phone had a better camera, since I’ve seen some truly spectacular fashion mistakes this week. Many of the usual three-inches-too-short khakis with white socks and black sneakers, but also some impressive attempts at hair, including a rather quality mullet on an otherwise normally-attired attendee. But I really wanted to get a shot of George McFly’s twin brother and his slicked-down, icky-feeling-inducing bangs.

This, of course, is where AAS meetings get interesting.

Andrea and I gathered together a random group of people, including one girl who I’m pretty sure was the tallest woman at the conference. (Note: still not taller than me, although astronomers have a very very strange height distribution. It’s like being in the Netherlands.) Dinner was tasty, but nothing to write much about, just a faux-Irish American place. My general plan was to create some new friends so I’d have someone to talk to at the party rather than being bored and alone.

Then Andrea bailed on me.

And the tall girl asked if they were going to card at the door since she was only 20. (Note: YIKES!)

So, that left two people from UC Davis and one of my friends from NMSU that I was going to meet up with.

Yadda yadda yadda, people going to hotels to change, things taking longer than expected, we get to the party… the drink special is a Galileo and seems to have no redeeming characteristics other than being strong. I decide to start my drinking slightly later. Since we were late, that puts me a good three drinks behind everyone else.

The good stuff starts below.
(more…)

Or should I say, not silver and black? But either way, I want to point people to this article pointing out that the piracy off the coast of Somalia is out of desperation and a direct result of Western neglect, not a simple case of greed and immorality.

The quick summary: In 1991, the government of Somalia – in the Horn of Africa – collapsed. Its nine million people have been teetering on starvation ever since – and many of the ugliest forces in the Western world have seen this as a great opportunity to steal the country’s food supply and dump our nuclear waste in their seas….As soon as the government was gone, mysterious European ships started appearing off the coast of Somalia, dumping vast barrels into the ocean. The coastal population began to sicken. At first they suffered strange rashes, nausea and malformed babies. Then, after the 2005 tsunami, hundreds of the dumped and leaking barrels washed up on shore. People began to suffer from radiation sickness, and more than 300 died.

According to the UN envoy to Somalia, “somebody is dumping nuclear material here. There is also lead, and heavy metals such as cadmium and mercury – you name it.” Much of it can be traced back to European hospitals and factories, who seem to be passing it on to the Italian mafia to “dispose” of cheaply.

Combine that with severe overfishing by foreign supertrawlers, you have a sick, starving, and desperate population… and suddenly piracy and hostage-taking seems a lot more reasonable, even if not defensible.

We continue our series of belated postings with what-happened-to-me-last-saturday.

I went here.

Now in fairness, K said that I didn’t have to go if I didn’t want to, that she could go with just her sister-in-law and they’d wander about, but I ended up going along with my soon to be brother-in-law.

whoa.

The Bridal Expo that we went to was held in the SD convention center, and in hindsight it had a lot in common with one of the poster sessions at a big APS (March Meeting, etc, or AAAS I guess?)… imagine a huge airplane hanger filled with row upon row of different vendor booths. That sounds innocent enough, right?

For starters you have to pay $10 or $15 bucks to get in the door (they do have door prizes, so maybe that’s fair), and they greet you with “are you a bride or groom”? which is actually a funny question if you think about it, but the fallout of your answer is that they give you a nametag with “Groom” or “Bride” on it, and you’re supposed to put slap it on somewhere. Then you play plinko and other little games to win little (and demeaning) prizes before being sent off to wander up and down the rows of Photography people, Cake people, Honeymoon people, three different Mary Kay booths, Floral/decorations people, etc. In one corner of the hanger, I mean, convention center they had a stage and seating – this was the site of a bridal fashion show. It was pretty much what you might think; models strutting up and down with various outfits, girls swooning, guys sneaking off to buy a beer and rest their tired eardrums, etc.

All in all, I’m glad I went if for no other reason than I am more certain now than ever that K and I are a good match and that I’m very glad she’s not like a lot of her fellow brides that I saw there. That said gentlemen, when you are faced with such a situation, make sure to (a) stay hydrated, (b) get a good night’s sleep beforehand, and (b) bring lots of $5 bills and a few ones for tips to the beleaguered barman at the beer booth.

Best $5 I ever spent was on that lukewarm Bud Light.

The stroller came on Saturday and got put together pretty easily. It took a fair bit of rotating things 90 degrees and saying “oooh, this is the way it’s supposed to go!”

Then, with it together, we had to test it out on a walk. So we went to Starbucks…

Let me put the picture together for you… A guy in a fashionably rumpled ivy league t-shirt and cargo pants wearing name-brand flip-flops (admittedly, they were only Reefs, but still) pushing a Bugaboo Chameleon stroller into Starbucks while occasionally looking at his iPhone. Luckily, Kirsten was dressed like a normal human, but it made me think about ways that we could really max out the yuppie scumness.

1) I needed some trendy Ray Ban or Persol sunglasses. (That’s really the only thing I was missing, although Crocs might have helped.)
2) Kirsten should have been wearing some Juicy sweats and Uggs with a Harvard shirt. Ideally, she’d round things out with some big sunglasses, preferably with giant Gucci or Chanel logos on the sides.
3) Rather than a Volvo, we should have gotten into either a Land Rover or a Porsche Cayenne.

I’m going to work on it.