The 50 Shades Movie

First off all, it's not a movie I'm going to go see. But it is a movie that I'm going to make fun of and tell some anecdotes about.

  • Apparently the hype for it is really big in the midwest and south. Which sort of figures... if you live somewhere nearly worthless, escaping into fiction might be the best thing to do. That and meth.
  • In the pictures from the premier, it's so obvious that the leads have amazing chemistry! Woo, hot stuff. (Actually, it looks a lot like my junior year prom pictures where I looked like a terrified deer in headlights.)
  • I wonder how they're going to cover some of the topics in the movie. Like the fact that Anastasia manages to deep throat Christian perfectly in her very first sexual experience. I'm guessing that won't make it into the movie.
  • In one online forum, there was a statement "Sure, but if you *do* go to the movie keep your eye on any milfs with chokers on. They’ll be the frisky ones." God, can you imagine how uncomfortable that would be?
  • In turn, that reminds me of a flight I took where the women sitting next to me pulled out 50 Shades, tucked it inside another book's dust cover, and started reading. My thought was "weird, but way better than a guy pulling out a playboy to read". Then the heavy breathing started though. I have to admit that there was a slight temptation to lean over and say "Did you know that E. L. James based part of Christian's character on me." I probably could have remembered enough of the story to make it seem somewhat plausible.
  • That said, despite being really fucked up, there's a chance that Christian is a better person than me.
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    Published by

    Nathaniel

    y'all know who I am.

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