soapbox

So, hypothetical situation. You’re shopping and you find a beautiful suit. The jacket literally fits like a glove, like it was made for you. The fabric is a perfect navy with overlaid with a nice windowpane pattern. It’s designer, not a Tom Ford level designer, but Hickey Freeman. Originally it was up around $2K, but I got it for around a quarter of that. Oh, wait, this is hypothetical.

The only problem is that the pants are pleated. It doesn’t show when you have the jacket buttoned, but are pleats a problem?

Obviously, I’m trying to avoid my real work.

So, I friend of mine is looking at a position at Oxford and forwarded the “job description/job perks” page. I am particularly jealous of the maternity/paternity leave (26 weeks), “pensionable housing allowance” (£8,438), and 1 term in six of accrued sabbatical, up to 18 terms, but a couple other elements caught my eye:

The Fellow will be able to draw on an allowance for the purpose of entertaining undergraduate students (currently £435), plus a per capita allowance of £15 for entertaining graduate students to whom he/she is College Advisor.

Yes, that’s right, you get a little over 400 quid to “entertain” undergrads (cue Professor [redacted] joke here), but only fifteen for each graduate student advisee. Better save up for 50p vodka shot night at the Union?

I got this message in an email today:

Somehow in one of the recent re-builds I’ve lostmy copyof “Graphic Converter”. Can anyone remind mehow to get another copy for my Mac? Thanks, XXX

I’m having a really hard time not sending an email back saying “try googling GraphicCoverter”.

Sadly though, the answer (which I knew instantly) is www.lemkesoft.com

Or you end up with this…

The picture is from www.failblog.org.

Nowhere else will you hear a DJ say something like “we’ve heard too much from Sweden today, so here’s Mews, the most famous prog-rock band from Denmark”.

And not only do you get to hear comments like that, they’re said in a very carefully enunciated voice that sounds like he’s being very very careful to keep the levels at exactly the right spot.

Good times.

Bet none of you knew that I used to be a DJ.

This past week was full of awkward moments caused by those stupid little ear-bud-y things that dumb people put in their ears because they are too cool (or too lazy) to hold their phone up to their head, and instead walk around talking to themselves. “Oooh, look at me, I’m busy and important, I need to have a phone in my ear every damn second just in case I need to do some more bootlicking.”

First, I was twice greeted by someone in the bathroom stall next to me, and somewhat surprisedly I give some kind of “whats up” in return, only to get a “dude, I’m on the phone” response. Seriously, who takes phone calls while taking a dump?

Then, leaving work on Friday, I saw some guy that I might have seen in passing a couple times previously and gave him a little head-nod in greeting, and his (apparent) response was “take care.” Now, that’s pretty weird, I think, so I’m left hoping that he was actually on the phone – I couldn’t see his right ear – and the “take care” was for his phone buddy, not me. Of course, I responded to his “take care” with “have a good weekend”, so either way, very awkward.

F*$@ing Bluetooth. Technology sucks.

I’ve got to say that I’m pretty happy with how my car drives. You put it in sixth, set the cruise for about 5% over the speed limit, and just let the miles unwind. My mileage would be even better if I didn’t have to climb over a mountain pass.

One thing though, remember how you used to be able to spot the expensive BMWs driving down the road in the early 2000s? They always had the blue lights. Now I just notice that everyone on the road has yellowish headlights. My eyes are adjusted to the color of my own HIDs.