soapbox

*holding arms way way far apart* This much.

So, as we suffer through the Rays-Sox game tonight, K reminded me again why I love her so much.

“He’s the worst of all of them. He says nothing, and he takes a long time saying it, and he’s not coherent… and that’s from someone who knows nothing about baseball.”

Of course, just one inning after this fantastic assessment, he re-verified his should-be-fired-ness by stating “I don’t really like this (the Rays) rotation. Sure they have Garza and Kazmir, and some good young guys in the minors, but after that I’m not impressed.”

What a freaking moron. I leave it to Jeremy to tell us exactly where the Rays’ staff ranks in MLB, but I’d put it in the top 5 especially looking ahead a few years.

I really want to learn how to hack a DVR and install a voice-recognition-and-mute algorithm.

[P.S. K also said "call the post 'How Much Joe Morgan Sucks.' " Have to give credit where credit is due.]

1. PECOTA and Baseball Prospectus

2. FiveThirtyEight

3. Dude knows him some math.

We’ll never see that kind of hardcore analysis on TV newsmedia, but it’s nice to see some really solid numbers cast out into the echo chamber of the blogosphere.

And, since there’s still the swine flu thing, let’s follow the advice of David Letterman: “Be sure to sterilize your pans!”

Some deep thoughts from our old buddy Joe:

Think about those words: “Wildest dreams.” Most of us, I suspect, have some pretty wild dreams. I don’t expect any of my wildest dreams to come true but if I win a billion dollars tomorrow or get asked to play second base for the Cleveland Indians or win the Pulitzer Prize or have Jenna Fischer just call … to say … she loves me or have Morgan Freeman call to say he’s turning Soul of Baseball into a movie, well, I won’t be able to lie and say I never dreamed them.

So, what would be beyond my wildest dreams? I don’t know. If I could come up with something, by definition, it would not be beyond my wildest dreams.

But I have to say this … I suspect what has happened to the Snuggie is beyond these people’s wildest dreams. I mean …

And, unrelatedly except for “huh?”, check this out. Has anybody actually seen this commercial on TV? It’s allegedly a real product, at tiddybearcomfortstrap.com.

… for failing a drug test (twice?), although he says that it’s due to a sexual performance drug that was okayed and prescribed by a non-team-sanctioned doctor.

You can read a lot about this all over the place, and Bill Simmons’ take is worth a read, but I wanted to share K’s reaction to the news, for which I am rather proud.

Me: So, the big news of today is that Manny got suspended 50 games …
K: For having horrible hair?

She calls them “poop-dreads” and she’s not wrong.

I just wanted to be the first to send big props to Andrea for successfully defending her PhD dissertation this morning. You did a great job girl, way to go!

Lightly muddle together the mint leaves and sugar with a few drops of water in the bottom of the glass. Then almost fill the glass with crushed ice and pour the Bourbon over it. Garnish with a sprig of mint.

mmmmmmm. Oh yeah, the race is ~6pm EST, fyi. Don’t forget your hat.

Having their sworn commitment to each other and all related rights therein recognized by the highest court of a sovereign U.S. state is ultimately not worth the hassle of moving to Iowa, longtime partners Danny Mindlin and Alex Small determined Monday. Good point.