Brett Michaels
Posted by Nathaniel.
Brett Michaels is a man-whore. That’s not to say that there aren’t people who like his music or that I don’t watch his reality TV show, but we have to call a spade a spade.
The quick recap from Rock of Love I and II is that, in the end, the skanky strippers got sorted from the ONE reasonable person in each season and the right person won. Jess was smart and smoking hot, which was probably the reason why she said “no thanks” right after she won. Ditto for Ambre, although she didn’t catch on to Brett’s doucheness until a little bit later.
Fast forward to the third season where, rather than putting the skanky strippers in a McMansion, they’re on tour busses following Brett around on his tour of small clubs. I mean really, why pretend, he’s looking for someone to bang on tour… he should test out the girls in their native environment. When one of the requirements for contestants are DD (at a minimum) implants, it’s pretty clear what you’re going to get.
The highlight of the first episode? It was when two of the girls thought they really needed to impress Brett. Everyone was drinking and it’s apparently very hip to do your shots out of test tubes. (Actually, I’m guessing that plastic test tubes are amazingly cheap and allow for easy portion control.) So, drunk girls with no underwear + a serious need to impress + no sexual qualms + alcohol in test tubes = insert tube in slot A and consume.
Wow.
January 27th, 2009 at 12:57 am Using
Well, I thought that the skank quotient of the show was pretty well determined when one teaser/highlight was “wait, I popped my effing implant!” while trying to play hockey…
but wow, I definitely missed the test-tube body shot. yikes.
January 29th, 2009 at 9:41 am Using
I’ve watched bits of this show, periodically, mostly because Courtney finds it hilarious. However, I am only able to tolerate about 3 minutes at a time before I have to watch something (anything) slightly more reasonable (even Fox News will do) for a time, before switching back. I think the girls interaction is insanely funny, but it makes me want to vomit all over when they swoon for the douchiness that is Brett Michaels… He just screams “if-I-hadn’t-gotten-super-lucky-and-become-a-marginal-rock-star-I’d-be-living-in-a-trailer-with-a-300-lb-gorilla-woman-named-Georgia-May-in-back-woods-West-Virginia-and-driving-by-the-middle-school-real-slow-on-my-days-off.”
The trashiness of the girls is funny as hell, especially the implant quotient, but I think Brett is by far the trashiest.
BTW- “Real Chance at Love” on VH1 is similarly hilarious for the overall trashiness of the thing. Yet similarly difficult to stomach watching for extended periods of time.