soapbox

So this post is a little delayed, but since I can’t post while at work, these things happen. Anyway, K and I ended up in Beverly Hills on Saturday to visit the Burkes, who were in town for an ABA conference. This conference just happened to be at the Beverly Hilton (cue Paris jokes), and thus the celeb-watching was primo.

(As an aside, the coolest – in my opinion – thing about Saturday was the number of sweet wheels that were in town. Ben and I were constantly on watch in the beginning of the day, but by late afternoon it was like “oh, another Bentley, ho hum”. My favorite was a sweet Mazzeratti convertable, kinda like this. The K’s thought that being at “the Pretty Woman hotel” for lunch was cooler, but who’s to account for taste?)

Things really got cranked up at night, since the Clive Davis pre-party was back at the Hilton. Ben and I discovered that when in the bar/pool patio we could see up into the VIP area, so essentially we were hanging with the big guns, just separated by 20 vertical feet and a lot of muscle. Notables include Alicia Keys, Rhianna, Fergie, Taylor Swift (all looking good), and Ashlee Simpson on the arm of Fall Out Boy’s Pete Wentz… with awful red hair. I may not know fashion or style, but when the younger Simpson looks extra-ugly, even I am aware of this.

Let’s see, what else… Whitney Houston’s dress was very shiny according to the girls, covered in lots of gemstones, etc.

Slash looked like Slash.

Meatloaf looks like Pete Rose.

Rod Stewart is well-preserved.

Lindsay Lohan looked like [...insert joke here]. Actually she looked pretty good, but then I was 40 feet away.

Funny story about Slash. Over the course of the evening it was pretty clear who was Somebody and who was a Peripheral, even if you couldn’t recognize who they were. (I was relying on the K’s to identify most people for me.) The Somebodies would walk with a purpose, no trying to hide but not flaunting things either. They went to dinner, chatted with friends, etc. The Peripherals gave 110%, tried to be obvious, flirted with anybody and everyone, and took lots of photos. (Honestly, I’d probably have done the same.) Anyway, we were joking about one girl who had been nicknamed “jailbait open-back” – to distinguish her from the other 18-year-old looking girls in half an outfit – and wondering who she was with, since she was obviously of better quality than many of the others… and then people start filing into dinner, and she goes and finds her place on Slash’s arm. Of all of the people there, HE had the hottest arm-candy. Good times.

P.S. Nathaniel, you asked about photos? Here is Slash, he’s the only recognizable celeb b/c of his hat. Perhaps intentionally, they’d lit the bar brightly and the upstairs was darker (as befits the posh people) so photos just didn’t work. Sorry.

In case y’all didn’t notice, Herbie Hancock won Album of the Year. Nice to see jazz getting some mainstream recognition. Kind of dovetails nicely with Ornette Coleman’s Pulitzer win from last year.

Hancock’s winning album consisted entirely of interpretations of Joni Mitchell songs. That’s not saying anything bad about his work or her music (I’m a fan of both, and I’ve heard enough of the album that won to know it deserved it), but I think it speaks volumes about how something has to be pop-relevant to even have a chance at the Album of the Year Grammy.

By the way, for those who don’t know them, here’s my take on Herbie and Ornette.

Herbie Hancock is definitely required listening. Famous for being one of long line of superb piano sidemen in the Miles Davis bands (that list includes Gil Evans, Thelonius Monk, Red Garland, Chick Corea, and Keith Jarrett – go listen to them all!), as well as for his own pioneering work in jazz-rock fusion and his hip-hop and funk influenced work in the 1980s (that led to mainstream success with “Rockit”). Also composed the theme song for the original Fat Albert cartoon show.

As for Ornette Coleman, well, I could go on and on, but there’s basically two things you need to know. First, jazz fans know who you’re talking about by just using his first name – ’nuff said! Second, Free Jazz: listen to it. It’s a masterwork for Ornette and a landmark album in jazz history. And yes, I will cheerfully loan out my copy to interested parties.

Yeah, so, this is hilarious.

Don’t believe me? Hmmm… How about this?

Funny, I’m tellin’ ya – totally funny. You know, because it’s true!