soapbox

I figure that I should explain this before I end up calling you a name with an ending and you end up getting upset.

Anyway, there are two basic endings that can be added to a name “-poo” and “-bangers”. Usage is a tad bit tricky, so pay attention to the nuances.

To first order, the “-poo” ending is diminutive. So my cat Ida is Ida-poo because she’s small.

To first order, “-bangers” indicates size. Using the cat example, Helix is Heli-bangers. (note that the ending works best if the name is modified to end in a vowel.)

To second order , the endings can apply to skills and are a relative judgement of how well someone does something. For example, if I were referring to dog ownership, both Chris and Holly would be -bangers… ie. Chrisi-bangers and Holly-bangers. On the other hand, if I were talking about squash prowess, they would both be -poos… Chrisi-poo and Hollly-poo. (Well, maybe by the end of the year, at the moment it’s still Chrisi-bangers.)

Finally, there are some names that should just never be given the wrong ending. For example, I feel very confidant that I know more about astronomy than Tim does. However, there is no way that “Timi-poo” would ever be the right ending to use. Although, for that matter, “Timi-bangers” isn’t likely to cross my lips either.

This entry was posted on Thursday, August 11th, 2005 at 12:34 am and is filed under jokes, lexicon. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.