my buddy's intro to true dartmouth culture.

a friend of mine learned to play pong last night, and the story is funny enough that it's worth re-telling here. i'm sure that i won't get it right, but i'll get at least most of the salient points... anyway, we went lifting earlier in the evening, then right when we got back, he got a booty call from a pint of guinness at murphy's. well, some friends typed it, but you get the idea.

have you ever paused to think about the culture of blitz? eba's has a public blitz box, not to mention all over campus. a private restaurant with a computer just so students can check their email... *shaking head* anyway, it's not a bad thing, and i sure prefer them to cell phones ringing all over the place, but i still sometimes find it entertaining.

anyway, so a quick change and then a trip across the green to meet up with some hot 06's and 05's (I'm being objective.) Actually, they may all be seniors since they're 21. Anyway, murphy's for a bit chill catching up, when our group reaches the critical mass needed to make less-than-rational decisions regarding "where next". One of our fearless leaders (leaderesses?) is president of a sorority so we head over to the house (my friend's protests notwithstanding) with the express purpose of teaching him (and me too, actually, but that's not the point) how to play pong (related to that game currently holding a $10,000 tourney on the facebook).

can i just mention how it really sucks to walk across campus late at night in the winter? it's not warm. better when drunk so you don't really notice it, but i've never been drunk enough for that to occur.

i'd been in her house once before last year, but that's a different story, and i'd never been down to the basement. for people used to dartmouth this is a familiar scene, but not to me - we walk in, meet a few sorority sisters lounging about in the pj's, and head down to the basement for "just a couple games". my buddy has the bad luck of being paired with a girl who "doesn't like the taste of beer" and as such is in for a rough game since he'll have to drink for both of them. the first game they/he get destroyed, managing to sink only a cup and half (a full beer for getting the ball in it, half if it glances off/bounces out) in the time it takes to lose their full tree. the second game is much closer, and it's down to 2 halves vs their one cup before the noble struggle is lost. there was also an intermission (or two) during the second game, interrupted by flexibility contests, comparisons of panties, and other stories that really don't translate (not that I could get the full details out of him anyway, as i'd left after the first game.) but apparently i missed out, since the flexibility contest was sans trousers (limited the range of motion) which resulted in quite a show.

anyway - and here the details were a bit uncertain, i should probably double-check - somehow they made it back across campus at which point our hero's digestive system began to express its displeasure with the current living situations. there was much in the way of snow angels, and porcelain worshipping, and general penitance.

finally, before you go insulting him, it's worth noting that the dude didn't have dinner and went out after a decently tough lifting session. but if you notice him looking queasy or commenting on how he pulled something in his neck, i think he deserves a hard time. and if you see "turtles", then give her a nice pat on the bum for me...


7 thoughts on “my buddy's intro to true dartmouth culture.”

  1. hmmm, i'm not sure if that was an adequate re-telling. funny to me because i was there for most of it, but... oh well. it was worth a shot at least.

  2. Dude, you should have tried to find out how flexible she could be on your dong! Bend her like a pretzel and make her call you daddy!

    Fuck yeah! Time for a hook-up!

    I would have bent both of them over the pong-table.

  3. also, I want to congratulate you for your turn of phrase, jimmy. "a booty call from a pint of guinness" is a beatiful thing. 🙂

  4. I guess I'll comment - oh look, a real person! *applause* but anyway, Jimmy, nice story. Sorry to missed out on the cute panties, but not upset at all on skipping the unpleasant morning, so I'd call it a fair trade.

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